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‘This time next week I will be admitted in to the Priory. I need help, and soon.’

That was what she had written on her Facebook Status. I’ll be honest, at first I was a little shocked. It is not like people to be so honest on my Facebook timeline. I was taken aback, and then I was hugely inspired by her strength. She is quite clearly desperate for help, I thought, […]

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Dory.

The Irish one has decided to start growing potatoes, on our kitchen windowsill. I paused there so that the full horror of what I am telling you can sink in. The man has ultimately thought about it long and hard, and has evidently come to the conclusion that growing potatoes, in an already crammed two […]

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Bat Shit Crazy.

I must live in the moment. I don’t want to go back in hospital. I just can’t. I must live in the moment. I must take deep breaths. Think rational thoughts. I must not freak out. What can I hear if I close my eyes and take deep breaths? Yes everything is ok. I can […]

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Scars.

‘My foundation was rocked. My tried and true way to deal was to vanish, my departures were old, I stood in the room, shaking in my boots. At that particular time, love had challenged me to stay.’ – Alanis Morissette.   I woke up in my single bed on that afternoon, stretching and yawning, feeling […]

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Is this the light? (Hope.)

I am in shock. It is 2012 and I am 32 years old. I have lost time, where have I been for the last 17 years? I just woke up. 2001 was 11 years ago, I am in shock. 1999 was 13 years ago. I am sad. Where have I been? I have been lost, […]

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I Should Never have Gotten out of the Car. (Booo!)

“Is there any such thing as a healthy relationship?’ His curious and caring eyes are not robust enough to penetrate my armor today, no matter how much I hunger for them to be. No matter how desperately I crave for them to be. The setting of my therapy has changed. I pull up on the […]

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Postnatal Depression. (The Boomerang Effect.)

It has been 2 years to the day. Years which have flown by like an airborne crisp packet sailing turbulently past the maternity hospital window. ‘Look! Prawn cocktail!’ I pointed from the delivery bed, ankles up around my ears, unable to grasp the severity of what was about to happen, as drugged up as a […]

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Hold On To The Crazy. The Crazy Spurs You On.

I know it is in there. I can run at force, and lunge my shoulder in to the door. I can rattle the decaying and stained gold handle and scream, pound and shout through my tears. Let me in, goddamn it let me in. I can sink to my threadbare knees in front of the […]

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Forgiveness, with Extra Cheese.

He punches me in the face repeatedly. Drawing his arm away first to muster up all his strength before balling his fist tight to ensure maximum impact, he throws himself at me again and again. They land square in my face and I reel backwards as my head explodes with stars and my nose implodes […]

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You Haven’t Let Anybody Down. (Relapse.)

‘I know how you feel mate’ I whisper in to the cold dawn air, pulling my feet underneath me in a bid to keep them away from the icy bite of bitterness curling in from behind the balcony wall. Sitting completely still listening for noise, any sound that may signal somebody is aware of my […]

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