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‘This time next week I will be admitted in to the Priory. I need help, and soon.’

That was what she had written on her Facebook Status. I’ll be honest, at first I was a little shocked. It is not like people to be so honest on my Facebook timeline. I was taken aback, and then I was hugely inspired by her strength. She is quite clearly desperate for help, I thought, […]

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Kiss the Rain. (Hello? Can you hear me?)

I see all these amazing mums, doing all these amazing things, like baking cakes, making chickens out of paper cups using only snot and lipstick, getting their kids to eat vegetables without an epic discussion or fight before every mouthful and I always stop and think… WOW! I should get them to do some stuff […]

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Beauty and the Buffoon.

I guess you could say, I am not your average Disney princess. If they ever do decide to make a musical fairytale however, about a self harming, suicidal, manic depressive and slightly paranoid flabby woman, with a penchant for tattoos and wearing fake eye lashes, who gets sectioned but fights hard to get better, finds […]

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Bat Shit Crazy.

I must live in the moment. I don’t want to go back in hospital. I just can’t. I must live in the moment. I must take deep breaths. Think rational thoughts. I must not freak out. What can I hear if I close my eyes and take deep breaths? Yes everything is ok. I can […]

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Fortune Teller. (Don’t grow up yet.)

Dear Teenage Me, Please listen. I may be able to help you… Your stepmother isn’t evil so stop writing in your diary that you hate her and just wish she would die. You don’t. But you are right she has got crap hair, but bless her, it’s the 90’s and to be honest your hair […]

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Scars.

‘My foundation was rocked. My tried and true way to deal was to vanish, my departures were old, I stood in the room, shaking in my boots. At that particular time, love had challenged me to stay.’ – Alanis Morissette.   I woke up in my single bed on that afternoon, stretching and yawning, feeling […]

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Stop being a Dick and grow the Hell up!!!

Yesterday in a moment of overwhelming panic, my trembling and fat little nibbled fingers positively shot out a text at the speed of light (if the speed of light travelled at say, the same speed over a keyboard, as overcooked sausages playing an Elton John tune on a pretend piano) to my best friend. It […]

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I Should Never have Gotten out of the Car. (Booo!)

“Is there any such thing as a healthy relationship?’ His curious and caring eyes are not robust enough to penetrate my armor today, no matter how much I hunger for them to be. No matter how desperately I crave for them to be. The setting of my therapy has changed. I pull up on the […]

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Postnatal Depression. (The Boomerang Effect.)

It has been 2 years to the day. Years which have flown by like an airborne crisp packet sailing turbulently past the maternity hospital window. ‘Look! Prawn cocktail!’ I pointed from the delivery bed, ankles up around my ears, unable to grasp the severity of what was about to happen, as drugged up as a […]

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Hold On To The Crazy. The Crazy Spurs You On.

I know it is in there. I can run at force, and lunge my shoulder in to the door. I can rattle the decaying and stained gold handle and scream, pound and shout through my tears. Let me in, goddamn it let me in. I can sink to my threadbare knees in front of the […]

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whocareswhatithinkanyway

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another view on how we make it up

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Just another WordPress.com weblog