Life after birth Category

Enter Inspirational Quote Here.

New Year, New Start, that’s what I thought, accompanied by a deep sigh, as I heaved and huffed to pull my jeans over my swollen arse and thighs this morning. I know it’s not a massively original thought for this time of year, but so what? Maybe all these inspirational photos I keep seeing while […]

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If Disney did early Motherhood. Tangled.

                (To be sung to the clean up song….) 5 AM, the usual morning lineup: Start with Addy’s bum and weep till the poo’s all clean, Wax my tash, do laundry, mop the dogs puke up, Sob again, and by then it’s like 5.15. And so we will […]

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The Life and Times of Dog.

Do you ever feel like you’ve just got too much going on? ‘I’ve so much on,’ you say to a work colleague ‘I can’t think straight, I’m so tired.’ Your hands rise up to nestle your chin and face, mid conversation, and then inadvertently, you pull the skin around your eyes down towards you. It […]

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Screw You.

The gun has gone off. Its offensive and obtrusive noise ringing out through all of our lives, whether we want it to or not. The race to survive December, for those with depression, has commenced. My hands were pressed against the asphalt, my voluminous arse stuck in the air, my chubby thighs ready to break […]

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Lessons in Unconditional Love.

‘I hate you!’ ‘I Actually HATE you!’ This week my son’s school are participating in anti- bullying week. ‘You are horrible and mean! And believe me when I tell you mummy, I am never CUDDLING YOU AGAIN!’ And I’m so glad they are doing this y’know, because it REALLY seems to be having a positive […]

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Happy Birthday Addison

This is the first photo mummy ever took of you. You were 2 hours old. You were lying on my flabby, empty bump (and the rest) on the hospital bed. I was so proud, I wanted to show you off immediately, so as soon as we were alone, I took this photo and sent it out to 18 people. It was […]

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SuperTato!

Oh Jesus. Here I am. I don’t know where to start, or even if i know how to. It’s been months. Basically, I am back stood on the finish line, at Square one. And I don’t mean in a poor mental health way. I mean literally, I crossed the finished line, every finish line I could possibly […]

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Another Baby.

‘Do you think it is about time we start trying for another baby?’     The gap between this sentence and the last, is appropriately proportionate to the gap I left before answering the question. I have gotten used to huge gaps since the last time I had a baby. Huge gaps in memory. Huge […]

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When we Collide…

It’s the hallucinations that are the hardest to deal with. Imagine your brain as a half eaten pot of strawberry yoghurt, you know the big silver spoon will soon reappear and hungrily begin scraping and scooping out the final remaining blobs of your sanity, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. That’s […]

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Same Song and Dance.

‘Oh yeah?? And what do you ever do for me you miserable cow?’ My rage alert monitor just tripped over in to red. There are bells and sirens and whistles piercing the air. Doodle runs for cover and takes the 70 thousand ants that recently moved in, with him. Addison is at nursery so there […]

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