Life after birth Category
In Hindsight… (Woo.)
As the wheels of my car crunched over the gravel drive I paused for a split second, frozen by the magnitude of what was about to happen. I stumbled erratically to locate the right gear, switching from third and back down to first and eventually manically settling on neutral, my logical thought process completely stolen […]
It’s like being on Acid, except it Isn’t.
‘Was that your ankle I just heard snap?’ The sturdy, thick thighed, brown haired woman with children hanging off her every appendage is standing over me and considering me inquisitively. In answer to her question, I am writhing about in pain and gulping down vomit while also inadvertently head butting a giant ladybird. As much […]
Be Careful What You Wish For…
I just assumed it would all come true. I was destined for bigger things. I was so sure I was. I believed in it so deeply; that while I waited for ‘it’ to happen, life became grey and dull. Whatever ‘it’ was, I wouldn’t need to try at all, as I was just so sure, it […]
Bat Shit Crazy.
I must live in the moment. I don’t want to go back in hospital. I just can’t. I must live in the moment. I must take deep breaths. Think rational thoughts. I must not freak out. What can I hear if I close my eyes and take deep breaths? Yes everything is ok. I can […]
Whiplash…
I guess, in the grand scheme of things, I do take a lot for granted. It seems however that perhaps I should be more appreciative of stuff. Like, my neck. I never truly appreciated the momentous amount of effort my neck puts in everyday, not only keeping my humongous Sindy doll head with its erratic […]
Actual Social Suicide.
I didn’t see it coming. I was trying to play it cool while carrying my tote bag, my handbag, Addison’s toys and a large red box in one hand, and the wriggling chocolate covered, sticky fingered juvenile himself in the other. ‘Can I just leave this here with you?’ I stoutly questioned the security guard […]
Pete.
His name is Peter Smith. As I crouched down next to him on the filthy concrete floor where he was laying on his side, his face almost resting in a puddle and his yellowing fingernails clutched around a wallet of sorts, I have to be honest; I did curse myself for stopping and becoming involved […]
Motherhood Curriculum Vitae (Alternate.)
CV Lexy Ellis. Address: The institute of mental illness and chaos, 1 child -1 husband to be Road, Shatteredville, edgy town. Telephone: Can I one bell you? I honestly can’t remember it. Date of Birth: Sometime before now. Personal statement. An occasionally positive, occasionally suicidal, dynamic […]
“Drama Queen” (Me??!?)
‘You mean you aren’t just saying no?’ I pounce on him the minute I hear his keys jangling in the door. His high collared coat is up around his neck protectively, his headphones still plugged in to his very red tipped ears. He detangles himself from his very ‘manly’ man bag (adjective added under duress) […]
Bricking it Babble.
I always worry about dying on the toilet. Is that weird? Basically, being trapped in a toilet is my worst nightmare, but dying while on the toilet seriously worries me and flashes through my head each and every time I drop my kecks, but then I figure, well, at least if I die on the […]
