Life after birth Category

Lessons in Unconditional Love.

‘I hate you!’ ‘I Actually HATE you!’ This week my son’s school are participating in anti- bullying week. ‘You are horrible and mean! And believe me when I tell you mummy, I am never CUDDLING YOU AGAIN!’ And I’m so glad they are doing this y’know, because it REALLY seems to be having a positive […]

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SuperTato!

Oh Jesus. Here I am. I don’t know where to start, or even if i know how to. It’s been months. Basically, I am back stood on the finish line, at Square one. And I don’t mean in a poor mental health way. I mean literally, I crossed the finished line, every finish line I could possibly […]

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Another Baby.

‘Do you think it is about time we start trying for another baby?’     The gap between this sentence and the last, is appropriately proportionate to the gap I left before answering the question. I have gotten used to huge gaps since the last time I had a baby. Huge gaps in memory. Huge […]

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When we Collide…

It’s the hallucinations that are the hardest to deal with. Imagine your brain as a half eaten pot of strawberry yoghurt, you know the big silver spoon will soon reappear and hungrily begin scraping and scooping out the final remaining blobs of your sanity, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. That’s […]

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Same Song and Dance.

‘Oh yeah?? And what do you ever do for me you miserable cow?’ My rage alert monitor just tripped over in to red. There are bells and sirens and whistles piercing the air. Doodle runs for cover and takes the 70 thousand ants that recently moved in, with him. Addison is at nursery so there […]

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Jennifer Anniston? I want my life back.

There was a moment, in which my tired and rung out mind tried to connect with what my eyes were actually seeing, and then when it did finally catch up, I experienced a physical shock as the realisation of what was about to happen went straight through me, as if I had been thumped hard […]

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Beauty and the Buffoon.

I guess you could say, I am not your average Disney princess. If they ever do decide to make a musical fairytale however, about a self harming, suicidal, manic depressive and slightly paranoid flabby woman, with a penchant for tattoos and wearing fake eye lashes, who gets sectioned but fights hard to get better, finds […]

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In Hindsight… (Woo.)

As the wheels of my car crunched over the gravel drive I paused for a split second, frozen by the magnitude of what was about to happen. I stumbled erratically to locate the right gear, switching from third and back down to first and eventually manically settling on neutral, my logical thought process completely stolen […]

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It’s like being on Acid, except it Isn’t.

‘Was that your ankle I just heard snap?’ The sturdy, thick thighed, brown haired woman with children hanging off her every appendage is standing over me and considering me inquisitively. In answer to her question, I am writhing about in pain and gulping down vomit while also inadvertently head butting a giant ladybird. As much […]

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Be Careful What You Wish For…

I just assumed it would all come true. I was destined for bigger things. I was so sure I was. I believed in it so deeply; that while I waited for ‘it’ to happen, life became grey and dull. Whatever ‘it’ was, I wouldn’t need to try at all, as I was just so sure, it […]

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