Life after birth Category

It’s been a while… 

The 29 week utero baby making me feel like death all those months ago, is now 8 months old.  And I have to say, either this has been the longest period of psychosis I have ever experienced, or I am actually doing quite well and even possibly thriving. (I’m not keen on the word thriving. It […]

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29 Weeks up the Duff.

I was 9 weeks pregnant the last time I wrote about this pregnancy. I was full of hope and joy and love and excitement. I won’t put weight on! I won’t suffer ill mental health as I am aware of the warning signs! I will stay calm and honest! I will write every week and […]

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Motherhood; Letting go of Right Now.

Your little chicken legs pounding the pavement, running ahead, big smiley head on you, ready for the last day of term. It wasn’t so long ago you clung to my hand and we walked this playground together, me filling you with assurances of how much you would love school, while secretly wishing for time to […]

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Balls to Your New Year New Start.

For 9 o’clock in the morning on New years Eve, the queue at Asda opticians is ridiculous. It curls around the sunglasses stand like a lizards tail and much to the disgust of the tutting lady chemist in the white coat behind me, is beginning to encroach on the pharmacy. I can’t even mess with […]

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A Beginners Guide to not Conceiving Immediately.

Are you TTC? POAS? Are you on your 2WW? Basically, are you trying to get pregnant? Have you followed all of the advice everyone feels the need to give you when you are trying to get pregnant? You MUST follow all of the advice. You need to be active, and yet relaxed, eat healthy, yet […]

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15 Signs you are not Normal…

I was getting comfy in bed. Doing that arse wiggle you do, where you shuffle and bounce around, trying to find the idyllic lean position that perfectly compliments the hand to eye to phone ratio. The illusive position that enables at least 2 hours of elbow pain free Facebook stalking. I am addicted to facebook. […]

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Dear New School Mum’s…

This one is for you; ‘How do I look Mummy?’ I swallowed down an ocean of tears that were threatening to avalanche off the side of my heart and destroy me catastrophically, and slowly with measured emotion, smiled a soft smile. Does that sound dramatic? Good, because It bloody was dramatic. I was gutted. I […]

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A Precious Mind…

My eyes feel like a pair of burst grapes stuck with crap school glue on to either side of my face. I say crap school glue because one of them does actually feel as if it may be about to start slipping down past my nose at a jaunty angle. (And everybody knows School glue […]

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I Published a Book and now I am Never Leaving the House Again.

Ok. The shit is hitting the fan. (Can you imagine how horrific that would actually be? If shit actually hit a fan? Who came up with that saying? And god forbid, but do you think they actually tried it? ‘Hey Jo! (Because it was definitely a man.) Go a take a huge shit mate, then […]

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Good Old Days.

The air is fresh and clean and wonderful. It cuts through and fills my (20 day) smoke free lungs with wondrous ease, slicing away my irritable winter blues. Little poofy white clouds bob on by above me, breaking up the crystal blue sky with their calming and childlike cotton candy shapes. The sun beats down […]

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