Dead Whales. (Pregnancy Week 7.)

Today has been a hard day.

Today marks 2 weeks off the pills.

Today I read my baby might have a heartbeat.

Today I also read that 21 whales have died on the beaches of the west coast because of sonar testing the army are doing. These whales get confused and die an undignified death suffocating in the sand.

Then I read about how calves are stolen from the their braying and begging mothers only a day out of the protection of the mother’s womb to be placed in tiny sheds where they can’t move for 4 weeks and then slaughtered for veal. They are confused and hurt and they want their mummy’s and instead the humans at their charge keep them chained, preventing them from even standing up.

Then I read about the children in Syria.

Today I am emotional at 7 weeks and 2 days.

Today I am wondering what the hell I am thinking bringing another child in to a world where grown men bully and victimise women and children and millions are killed because of the colour of their skin.

A world where a man can cut a dogs leg off and throw it in a sewage pipe when it sits on a crisp packet for a week, dying slowly and alone.

Today I am wondering what the hell I am thinking.

My first midwife appointment is the 18th of February. It is with the mental health midwife.

I will tell her I am fine because it is not like they can give me more anti-depressants.

I don’t want the Irish one to ask me if I am ok again, I do not want him to hug me, I want him to leave me alone. I want him to kick me in the stomach and bounce on my head, gouge my eyes out and punch my face.

Today I want to take the pain for the animals. Today I want to be eradicated. Today I want the human race to be eradicated.

I read this morning that coming off anti-depressants suddenly (like I have) can cause emotional instability.

I read that this is ‘normal’ and will pass. 

I know in my heart this will pass but that won’t make Today any easier. 

Bring on week 8. 



2 Comments on “Dead Whales. (Pregnancy Week 7.)

  1. Why did you stop your anti depressants? Ok, I know why but I took mine till the end (cypralex) and baby was fine. I just lowered the dose at the beginning and towards the end of the pregnancy but I never completely stopped. I think I would have topped myself if I had!

Ah go on go on go on - reply?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


Reviews, news and immaterial opinions...


Tales of Travel

Mr Oliver.

Gaming, Music & Movies


parenting anxiety panic love laughter

Madre se aprende

Porque nadie nació sabiendo

A Box of Fluffies

The fluffy and not so fluffy of mummyhood: Memoirs and musings

Victorian Mini

Adventures in Modeling

feeding my intolerant child

Overcoming the challenges of food intolerance

The Tipsy Runner

One step at a time.......

Mum Muddling Through

Mum with more questions than answers

Clinically Depressed, Chronically Ill, Fibro Warrior.

Life, family, Fibro, Chronic Illness, Depression.

Not Another Mum and baby group

A place for mums to get together for support and socialising


Me & Me Girl (MG) on a mission to change the world, one bit at a time...

Days in Bed

Enjoying Life With Chronic Illness


where three roads meet, there she is standing

Dad Without A Map

Unwrapping parenthood one nappy at a time

Sarsm's Blog

Quest for humour in my existence


keep going

A Cornish Mum

Cornwall, Family Lifestyle, Type 1 Diabetes Blog

Dear Mummy Blog

The travellings of Bella and her folks!

Psych Circus

Enjoy, Learn, and Erase Stigma!

Right from the Start

Play, Early Education and more...

HonieMummy Blog

The ramblings & goings on of the HonieHouse, HonieKitchen & HonieLikes

Tales from inside

Our family life

My Blog

My WordPress Blog


A digital space feat. poetry, art, nonfiction, interviews, and reviews by marginalized creators.


Ey Ey Ey Calm Down!!!

Long Distance Daughter

Support on the journey of caring for aging parents


a day in the life of my sketchbook...

A Mum on a Mission


Mother's Always Right

Mum life, body image, style

Nothing But Words & Wine

Often Wine Sodden, always Emotional musings of a single Mummy sinking under the housework.

Mum on the brink

living small, travelling more

Living otherwise

another view on how we make it up

A Write Relief... (for PND)

A thirty-something mum's journey through postnatal depression... and beyond!


Just another weblog

MuddlePuddle Home Education

Resource site for home educators in the UK

Coffee Work Sleep Repeat

For female creatives that work for themselves

Mummy Kindness

Parenting. Honestly.

Richmond Mummy

Family, Fun, Fashion, Life and Loves

A Vegetarian Family Life - On Land And At Sea

%d bloggers like this: