Monthly Archives: April 2016

It’s magical! (Week 9.)

Have you tried ginger? Have you tried hot lemon? What about crackers? Hmm OK, have you tried warm lemonade? What about standing on your head in a bath full of urine on a Tuesday at 3pm while farting the national anthem? Why yes. Yes I have. Nothing helps. I am as sick as fuck. Oooo […]

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Dead Whales. (Pregnancy Week 7.)

Today has been a hard day. Today marks 2 weeks off the pills. Today I read my baby might have a heartbeat. Today I also read that 21 whales have died on the beaches of the west coast because of sonar testing the army are doing. These whales get confused and die an undignified death […]

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Crotchy McCrotchy Face. (Pregnancy week 5.)

His crinkled frowny face was a mixture of ‘what the hell were you thinking?!?!?’ And ‘don’t you worry your pretty little head, one way or another we will sort this.’ He isn’t Texan. My GP surgery is not in the mid-west of America. (Much to my dismay, due to my continued desire and to pick […]

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Two Pink Lines. (Pregnancy Week 3.)

Today I found out I was pregnant. Today is huge. Today I took a picture of my semi flat stomach in preparation for comparison. (Hahahaha semi flat stomach! Oh I make myself laugh sometimes.) Today I took a picture of my wobbly, baby-free, saggy skinned belly, for comparison later on. Today I ran around with […]

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