Natural is Overrated.
5 long years of meticulous planning.
Months of anguish spent pouring over emails, contracts and PDF updates examining every word in fine detail to make sure nothing was missed, misunderstood or lost in translation.
Sleepless nights spent thinking about, concocting, writing and finally practicing romantic and yet funny vows that would fit with the venue and the moment.
Morning’s spent organising individual surprises, surfing through website after website looking for the perfect shoes and tie’s, feathers and glitter.
Weeks spent forcing out my girly side while squeezing, sweating and usually wheezing, in to tight fitted dresses that were always too long, too cutting and just too bloody white.
Evening’s spent arguing over colour schemes and theme’s, guests and music choices…
But eventually, eventually, the hot Floridian sun rose over our wedding day and everything looked like it was going to go to plan.
A day that was going to be perfect in every way for the Ellis/ Doyle Family.
My, Our, Fairytale was finally going to come true.
Addison was peanut free and ready to rock, The Irish one had finally got his suit sorted, and although my hair and risen up to meet the gods with the humidity, nothing was going to keep me down.
‘It’s my wedding day today!’
A Facebook update to outshine any other Facebook update of my entire Facebook career (except maybe the one about the birth of the devil child but lets just forget that one for now.)
We said our teary and yet excited goodbye’s the groom and I, and while he was left to dress a grumpy 6 year old and a manic steroid drunk 3 year old, I calmly made my way, dress in arms to the Grand Floridian Resort and Spa Hotel to get ready.
I had been practicing my Seriously in love face, my Almost about to cry but managing to hold it together face, and most importantly my ‘This is a dream come true face’ religiously for months, everything was going to go like clockwork.
Every. Last. Detail. Was ready.
Then the photographers went and turned up and I completely forgot how not to act like a deranged monkey.
‘We would like to take a few shots of you getting your make up on, if you could smile naturally please?’
‘Ok, this time a little less forced, more your natural self when putting on make up…’
‘Ok, let’s try one from behind a closed door….’
‘Ok, now the shoes and you, if you could just act naturally….’
‘Let’s just try that again. Can you be nonchalant?’
‘Ok, no. No you can’t. Let’s move on and take some pictures of your in-laws…..
‘How long has your dad been working undercover for Men in Black?’
‘Now we need a picture of you arriving, just walk naturally if you can?
‘…Ok, haven’t we seen this somewhere before? Anyway… can you look out of the window? You feel like Nicole Kidman in the Others? Why?’
‘Ok, I know we said relax, try to fully relax…’
‘Ok not that much…Let’s try and find an in-between, what do you do when you are relaxed? Think about that…’
‘Ok, in this next one, try to look a little less like you are sat on the toilet and a little more in love…’
‘Let’s try that again, but a little less intense..’
‘Ok, yeah. You have started to channel the bathroom scene in Pshyco… let’s move on….’
‘If you and your dad could try and forget about the 92 degree heat on the way in that would be great…’
(I think we did rather well actually!)
And then the ceremony started.
And it was a dream come true.
The vicar seemed a little peeved that we couldn’t stop laughing but nevermind…
And after we were married, we did manage one amazing photo…
But that didn’t last very long.
‘Ok, lets throw some flowers in the air and kiss, this will look fabulous on film, very romantic…’
(The photographers said this part went really well, at the time I was chuffed…HMPH!)
‘And now act naturally if you can, forget we are here…’
‘Maybe a little less of you Lexy, just smile like you normally do…’
‘Ok, I think we are done here! Um… have a great party….’
But they Weren’t done!
They tricked us!
They Caught us smoking and chatting to the cleaner… as you do….
That is about the only natural photo we have…
And then they came to the Party with us…..
I am not ready to show you those yet.
You will have to wait.
I’m off to drown my sorrows in a bucket of wine….
Did I say the vicar was peeved after the ceremony?
Maybe it was because he’d read my blog post about punching vicar’s in the penis.
Now where is that wine?
**The photographers of the Walt Disney World Fairytale Wedding company were outstanding, in some of the photos we have received, we actually look photogenic, which can only be a tribute to the amazing camera work they provided for us on the day. They were both very good fun, happy to go along with any idiotic thing I wanted and I am hoping I have now made a friend for life in Michelle, after we bonded over our love of shoes. These photos are not their fault. They tried their best with me, they really did. Thanks guys.