I WRITED YOU A POSTCARD.
Hi it’s Addy here! Did you hear me?
I SAID ITS ADDY HERE, IM WAVING! wave back!!! ITS ADDY HERE!
I thought i would send you a postcard cos we are in spain which is a long way a way and i got to go on an airplane to get here.
It was big and noisy and white and it was fun to keep taking off and putting my seatbelt back on while mummy went white and gripped the seat. I don’t know what was wrong with her but she kept making funny faces and trumping then blaming it on me. I know it wasnt me so i pointed at mummy very loud and shouted ‘SMELLY MUMMY’ just so everyone would know i was innocent.
Everyone laughed then mummy went red. But not as red as she is now. She looks like my red truck and keeps darting about to get out of the sun. I follow her sometimes and smack her legs. She asks me not to cos it hurts but i know she wants me to really.
I was upset at the airport because mummy had to take a lot of my toys out of my lightening mcqueen race car bag cos the woman with the big red lips said my bag was too heavy. Daddy said ‘I told you so’ a lot to mummy who was acting a bit drunk and grandma had to come back and pick my train stuff up.
That was fun cos i love seeing grandma but then daddy said ‘i told her so’ and when grandma went mummy kicked daddy in the shin and said a word i intend to use very loudly next time we are in a posh restaurant.
Mummy thinks im sleeping but she’s wrong cos i never sleep….ever.
Well except for the times i have done a really big poo and i try really hard to sleep in case she decides to give me a bath. I Hate baths. I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM! Except sometimes I dont. Sometimes i dont know if i do or i dont, so i scream anyway. Its fun to shout and scream.
There is a big cold bath in the garden outside here and mummy keeps trying to get me to jump in with her, which i would consider doing just to be nice to her if she didnt insist on dressing me up in a stupid tigger outfit first. I hate that tigger outfit. I HATE IT. Except for when I dont. Sometimes i don’t. But usually I do.
I mean I am two. I am too old for mummy to be choosing what i wear, so i decided from now on i will choose.
This morning i wanted to wear my jeans with my arm floats that have fish on, around my ankles. Mummy said I wasnt allowed to in case i fell and gave myself a concussion, so i lay on the floor and didnt move for h0urs. Well except for kicking my legs a lot and asking for things we didnt have. It’s fun to watch mummy fret and i like it cos i get lots of cuddles.
In the end i got to wear my jeans but then i decided i didnt want to wear them either, i actually wanted to wear my tigger costume for once but then once i got it on, i changed my mind.
Mummy said ‘maybe concussion wouldnt have been such a bad thing’ to daddy and daddy laughed. I know they love me so it’s ok. In the end I just stayed in a nappy with lots of cream on and then got an ice pop. Somehow i ended up in a t-shirt but i dont remember how. Mummy is sneaky.
Anyway this afternoon we are going for spaghetti in a restaurant so i have been practicing my new word a lot. Grandad thinks its hilarious but mummy doesnt, but she taught it me so its her fault. (According to daddy and i believe him so i say it again and again and again and again.) I can’t wait to say to the waitress ‘spaghetti please twat.’
That will be fun.
ANYWAY i better go because i want to go and dance to thomas the tank engine again in the garden and then pretend to run at the pool with all the water in, when mummy and daddy arent looking. It’s hilarious when they think i may fall in. As if i am going anywhere near it!!!
well i might. I dont know yet. Maybe ill ask if i can go in it at 4 in the morning again. I know mummy loves me and god a lot in the middle of the night because she often says so. She also yawns a lot and I smile and jump because i know she loves me. Sometimes i try and count my toes really loud to get back to sleep but i get stuck at three and then i get angry. Why cant i remember what comes after 3? I think it is a TOUR BUS TOUR BUS TOUR BUS or a MAN PLANE MAN PLANE. But its 4am so who knows?
Anyway i am going to pretend to wake up now cos i just saw mummy pick up her book.
BYE! Wish you were here cos i’d let you know more of my secrets and we could sing about poo. I know what poo tastes like cos once i ate some but then i got poorly and poo was on the walls and on mummy’s eyebrows, and it wasnt nice so i wont do that again. Its fun to pretend i just did though. You should see mummys face, it goes white! (It wouldnt now like, cos its like a big red beach ball but normally it would.)
BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE I WISH YOU WERE HERE THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE AND SAUSAGES!!!
come and see me and wave wave wave.
lots of slobbery kisses