Monthly Archives: October 2011

I’d Say No Anyway…Honest. (I wouldn’t… or would I?)

I sometimes wonder, usually late at night when I am unable to sleep, due to too much caffeine and too little romantic pillow talk (last night we discussed the origins of the humble sprout, apparently they originated in Ireland, like most things) if it is likely I will be married before my face starts to […]

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Nine, Ten, never sleep again! (Front bum fermentation.)

As I finally sank my bottom in to the moist garden chair, cup of peppermint tea (I have the most god awful trapped wind constantly at the moment – Depression, the gift that keeps on giving) at the ready and laptop open with a fresh, clean piece of lit up paper glowing in front of me, I […]

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Music as Therapy.

I used to listen to music all the time. Back when I was young, free, single and happy (read; drunk) turning the stereo on while searching through a huge pile of cd’s with one hand, and grabbing my glasses and a pint of water with the other, was all part of my very brief morning […]

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Life in Slow Motion.

Shopping I must shop today, I need sponges and cloths, the one on the sink has been there since New Kids on the Block were at number 1. It is manky. Which reminds me I need to buy some drain un-blocker too. The plug is filled with hair. Gross. I wonder if I will ever […]

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Separation, Desperation and a Broken Washer.

This weekend I am home alone. Which is why when the washing machine decided to go on an unscheduled sabbatical to an ashram somewhere in the West Indies (or somewhere equally as laid back as it has clearly decided life in my kitchen is too stressful) I took matters in to my own hands and […]

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And look at the state of Roger!!!

‘Jessica Rabbit was curvy wasn’t she? And she was a full on knock out.’ I turn to look at him. ‘Seriously? You are trying to make me feel better about my body, by comparing me to a cartoon rabbit with bigger boobs than me? How unrealistic is that?’ ‘Ok, bad example.’ He grumbles walking out. […]

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Muchas gracias for el Awardo.

I notice three women have already occupied the room which is meant to be ours, busy getting on with rude things, and looking decidedly dodgy. As I tentatively push open the door, dragging my heaving suitcase rammers full of tops, jeans, boots, duffel coat (in case of the smog) gas mask, emergency life jacket (with […]

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