The self appreciation society!

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

I see humongous thighs, a flabby middle, a nose which is too big for my face and fat, wobbly, spotty (thanks again pregnancy!) arms.

I see a fat girl trying to be thin. (Because essentially, this is how I feel.)

I am not fishing for compliments. I wouldn’t hear them anyway.

I am simply sharing with you a mammywoo tale of woe. A tale of woe, I am absolutely certain, I am not alone in.

Motherhood changes your figure beyond belief. 

Womanhood changes your figure beyond belief.

You may run a marathon 6 times a year. You may never leave the couch (that’s me) but I would put money on the fact you still self abuse. (Because as The Irish one just said; women are never happy! Shall I hit him now? Or later? Or, god forbid is he right? )

When I shop, I find myself no longer shopping to buy pretty clothes, to look fashionable or to enhance what god gave me. (Yeah cheers for that oh wise one.) I shop to hide, all of the above.

The summer months fill me with dread.

How will I hide my thunder thighs and acne arms in a bikini? How will i hide my ridiculously long wookie toes in a pair of flip flop’s.  How will I get away with my bingo wings when I am dancing la cucaracha? Do they do light weight tents as beach wear?

After a good discussion with the Irish One, and the possibility of moving to Alaska thrown firmly out of the window, i realised, maybe it is time to stop abusing myself. And have another look in the mirror.

But this time, instead of going in for the kill, I will look at myself, through rose tinted goggles. (Just to see if there is any change. I am talking rose tinted goggles here, not beer goggles!)  

Yes ok, I am not Heidi Klum. I doubt the sight of me in a bikini would stop traffic (It might, but only if I used my arse as a roadblock) But at what point am I going to stop fixating on the negative and start focusing a little more on the points about myself that I do like?

And it’s not just body image either. I am constantly putting myself down for being thick, or being slow, or being a shite mother, or a bad cook, the list is endless.

So I am going to try something new.

Repeat after me, like a mantra.

Ignore the wobbly thighs, ignore the wobbly thighs… (You may want to do this under your breath if you are in Asda or somewhere public, you know, just to save yourself from a random beating off the lady walking in front…)

I have good hair. (Ignore the tufts, ignore the tufts…)
I have good bone structure. (Ignoring the spots, ignore the spots…)
I am in proportion. (Nuff said, nuff said…)

I am funny. (Ignore the tears, ignore the tears…)
I am intelligent. (Ignore the spelling mistakes, ignore the spelling mistakes…)
I can cook. (Ignore the burnt toast, ignore the burnt toast…)

Now it’s your turn!  (Don’t you dare sigh! You knew this was coming! I am not doing it alone!)

I pose to you, the following question. (I have my professor head on now, which is good as I rock the Albert Einstein look. Ignore the bird nest, ignore the bird nest…)

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF.

Now put on your rose tinted spectacles, GO ON!

Now, tell me, what do you see?

To put it another way;

What would I see if I looked at you? And what would you see if you looked at me?  I doubt I would notice the things you beat yourself up over. And I doubt you would notice the things I beat myself up over. (I’m hiding my toes.)

So with that in mind, and summer swiftly approaching, I set you a challenge. (I am setting myself one so you may as well join me.)

Every time I walk past a mirror, or a window, or catch sight of myself in the reflection of the telly while picking up Woo’s toys, (everyone knows the telly adds ten pounds!) Instead of beating myself up, grimacing and heading for my biggest, baggiest black jumper, I am going to compliment myself.

And I am starting here.

I have gorgeous nails. (Oh god! It was so hard to find something then! Which, is exactly why, I know i need to do this! I need to give myself some credit! And so do you!)

Out with the self abuse! In with the Self appreciation! (We are the self appreciation soooccciieeettty!)

I am a healthy, vibrant (ha!) Mother who will look good on the beach, not because of my apple bottom butt cheeks, but because I will be carefree (so help me god!!!) and laughing, while trying to stop the most beautiful boy in the world, eating sand/stones/his toes/a crab.

Go on, you try it now please.

Tell me what your best attributes are.

When you look in the mirror what do you see? (Pop on your appreciation specs!)

Don’t you dare walk away!

Come back! You can do this!

One word! One positive word about yourself!

I think you rock.

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14 Comments on “The self appreciation society!

  1. I know this is a really old post, but I only found your blog the other day and I’m catching up 🙂 Besidse, there’s a new summer just around the corner, so this post is needed yet again. Maybe it is true that women are never happy, as the Irish one says. This isn’t biological though, it is to do with the fact that we live in a society where women are in fact less valued than men. Agree with me or not, I consider this a fact. And because we are taught that our value lies in being able to attract men. I struggle with this daily, trying to raise a little girl and trying to help her feel valuable, not because what she looks like but because of who she is. Sinces there is alot of money to be earned from our insecurities it’s a hard struggle, because we are constantly surrounded by messages telling us how we could be perfect. We never will be, by their standards. But we already are. Good on you for being kind to yourself!!! I’m no different, I have fallen for the self loathing as badly as anyone else. I look like a flabby sceleton and my face is a scull with bad skin. Imagine that. But my body is perfect, it has built an entire person and it works for me everyday doing what I want it to do. Maybe if you saw me you would see slender with beautiful eyes. From the photos of you I can tell you look lovely. Keep up the good work.

  2. Great post yet again. I weigh more now than I’ve ever weighed,I detest my body,I feel so uncomfortable. I’ve stopped looking in the mirror,I can not think of a single thing I like about myself,sorry to disappoint,I tried,all I can think of is my nails(and they are false)

    • Damn it. my nails are false too and that is what i chose.
      ok, i will fill in your bit for you. are you ready?
      you have beautiful hair, a gorgeous smile, a figure to die for, amazing eyes, a loving, caring and funny personality. you are honest and open and brave and strong. you dont give yourself enough credit honey. you are wonderful x

  3. Ah I’m not alone…what we do to ourselves to provide the world with beautiful and amazing children!
    I am in a denial stage of self appreciation. I do not own any mirrors that show below the shoulders…as far as I am concerned my size 16 jeans actually look like 14, my bottom and hips have not changed since my 20’s ….totally deluded.
    brilliant post as always. I think your amazing….just the way you are x x x

  4. Truthfully, (and I am being honest) I do not spend much time thinking about my appearance. I know that’s odd, but I think it comes down to one thing: I hardly look in the mirror.

    Some people might say I should spend more time looking in the mirror, then I wouldn’t necessarily go out having forgotten to brush my hair. But I would argue back that when I do look, I feel somewhat depressed by the increasing wrinkles, the wobbly belly, the spots (I had hardly a single spot as a teenager, so why do I get them now, aged almost 40???)

    After reading your post I tried to think what I like about myself and the thing that jumped out at me is my sense of humour. I could tell you I like my boobs (grown massively after 4 babies) but I would like them a whole lot better should they not point southwards the moment they fall out of my ‘good bra’.

  5. Oh, fab post as always. Okay, my turn… *sigh* *whines* *huffs* *squints*
    I have fab hair thick, long and shiny.
    I am tall, and when I throw my shoulders back and stand up straight, my shape looks a whole heap less Baba papa.
    I have good eyes, green, almond shaped, long lashed and smiley.
    We’re supposed to be ignoring all the marshmallow wobble, right?

  6. Great post, and I agree totally. I think we are our worst critics. I think for me it helps that I wasn’t that skinny in the first place, so there’s not much before/after contrast! I am a bit down about not being back in certain clothes (they do up but not so I can breathe, eat or sit down…) but generally I can deal with what I’m seeing, stretch marks and all.

    So, those positive words… lovely long hair, nice smile, good boobs. Let’s ignore the ample legs, wobbly belly and chunky arms…

    BTW – I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award: http://badgermad.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-got-liebster-award.html

  7. who made you so bloody wise and soooooo young? If only I had your talent (writing, and making me laugh till I ache) and your body (I did sort of at your age) and your personality ……..I would have ruled the world……there is nothing….nothing good about me now…..its all too late…..I hate everything about me…..I even hate me!!……all I got left is the ability to moan…..and I am good at that…….lol.

  8. Sorry, I did walk away despite your shouting Lexy (I had to put the TT’s to bed, honest) but now I’m back! Well you’ve done it again, fab post, had me in tears laughing but also thinking very deeply about how I see myself.
    I don’t often look in the mirror and like what I see but I didn’t think I did much in the way of self-abuse until I tried to think of bits of me I like…..errrr my shoulders and my ears, that’s about it!
    I am also dreading the summer, I weigh more now than I did this time last year despite little miss only being five months old & I have no idea what I’m going to wear.
    I am hoping the sun will dry up my spots though. Little man pointed at one (not sure why he picked on that one, there’s plenty to choose from!) last night, ‘what’s that?’, ‘it’s just a spot sweetie’, ‘hahahahaha’ Yeah thanks!!
    BTW every time I’ve looked at a pic of you I’ve always thought you have amazing eyelashes!!

  9. OK here goes,

    I like my eyes, they are dark blue & are a nice shape (ignore the bags)
    I like my teeth, they are white & straight (ignore the coffee staining)
    I like my boobs, they are HUGE! (ignore my tummy, arse & thighs as they are also HUGE)
    Er that’s about it I think.

    Great post as usual

  10. Thank you for this reminder to be kinder to ourselves. It’s hard sometimes.

    So to that effort… I like the color of my eyes & hair. I appreciate my freckles – they make me look “tan”. 😉

  11. Oh christ!

    I am tall (it balances out my weight).

    I have nice eyes (even if they are glaring at certain people, not you).

    I have long legs (which are white, veiny and fat).

    I am exuberant (bloody loud).

    Liveyou too missus.

  12. omg, you sound just like me at this time of year..its ok in winter, you can cover up…so here goes, will give it a try.

    I like the colour of my hair (ok the auburn needs a bit of help with dyes these days, but if i hide in house when roots are showing no one need know!)

    Like the fact I have long legs ( the fact they dont tan and look like milk bottles I will pretend to overlook)

    This is even harder than I thought it would be!! Notice I missed out everything between the top of my head and my legs??

    By the way, we love you too and you will look great on that beach 🙂 xx

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