Stone the witch!!

Deciding not to breast feed was a difficult decision. Ok, who am I kidding? Deciding anything in this big scary world of parenting, is a difficult decision. But deciding not to breast feed, for me, was the one I have probably struggled with the most.

I tried; I honestly gave it a go. But I was tired. But I was hormonal. But I was in pain. But he was just too hungry. And I gave up. A decision I am not proud of. A decision I wish I would have thought longer about. A decision I will probably always feel guilty about but ultimately a decision I have made my peace with, after today’s events.

I think.

I may as well be honest, as at this point, other than you faithful readers, I do not have much to lose. (And I hope you stay with me. One lady in particular, you know who you are. I respect you for your opinions. I really do.)

I wish more than anything I could have breast fed, And that I had persevered, but maybe not for the right reasons. I wanted to breast feed because; yes I wanted to do what was best for my baby. And I was told on countless occasions that breast is best. I wanted to breast feed because, erm, apparently it helps you lose weight? (WITCH, WITCH! SELFISH WITCH! DROWN HER!!) But mostly I wanted to breast feed because I had heard it helps you bond with your baby.

Having suffered pretty badly with post natal depression, I did struggle to bond at first. I blamed it whole heartedly on my selfish decision not to breast feed, and I suppose, in the healing process, I arrived at anger. (With a side order of guilt.)

The reasons, I was told I should breastfeed are still, thrown at me, on a daily basis. (The Drs Office, the health visitor, a dickhead old friend…) It is best for baby being the one I hear most commonly.

I understand why there is propaganda for breast feeding, I really do. I just don’t understand why there isn’t more positive mothering propaganda. Post natal depression is a huge concern in the U.K right now, with many mothers sinking in to a deep dark hole because they feel like a failure. I know propaganda wouldn’t rectify this, but on my darkest days, it would have been nice to see a smiling baby with the slogan ‘Is your baby smiling? Then give yourself a pat on the back’ rather than ‘The best thing about breastfeeding is my milk is never too hot, too cold, and my mummy never runs out. My mummy is doing the best for me.’  Do you see what I mean?

But yeah, best for baby slogans? Those are the ones that upset me the most.

Yes, I am sure breast feeding and the milk your breasts provide,  is a more natural way of feeding than, that, that comes in a tin, but it is all relative isn’t it? If formula wasn’t healthy, they wouldn’t sell it would they? Thousands of babies a year wouldn’t have thrived on it would they?  And surely what is best for baby is a healthy, happy mummy, who is, in one way or another, regardless of whether it is from a bottle, or a nipple, providing nourishment for her child?

I am not very good at failing. I have a habit of having to succeed at everything. And if I don’t succeed, I pretend I never tried. You know the one. It’s the ‘Oh I never tried that, well done you (and in my mind I’m wringing your neck) dance.’ In my opinion being unable to breast feed was some sort of (ignored but still floating around under a loaded baked potato in my chest) failure. So I will have to admit, when I see a mother breast feeding my first thought is always. ‘Lucky Cowbag’. And my second thought is always, ‘Bet you think you’re perfect don’t you?’ Well you’re not. I am doing my best too.’ (Yes I can be very childish.)

This morning, I accidentally caused a bit of a Kafuffle on Twitter. I had seen breastfeeding affirmation tweets knocking about, and immediately my back was up. So I knocked out a couple of formula feeding affirmations. You are a good mum, etc.

And I only lost 26 followers.

You see the thing is, I go on with myself about how I would never judge a formula mum etc and how dare these breast feeding mothers throw their perfection (My Jealousy) in our faces, but the truth is, they aren’t throwing it in our faces. They are simply proud of themselves for achieving a pre-set goal, and reminding themselves of that fact, so that during the hard times, they can remember what they are achieving. It really is fair enough.

(I am talking here about the mothers, who do not have perfection complexes. Not the 26 who un-followed me for having an opinion.)

So maybe I should stop jumping on the defensive huh? Every breast feeding affirmation is not a dig at formula mothers. (Or is it? You tell me? But I don’t think it is anymore.) And, if that is the case, I will continue with my formula affirmations. To remind myself, during the hard times, I am still a good mum. (Not to dig at the breast feeding mothers.)

This morning has taught me a valuable lesson, which I hope is not too idealistic.

There are two sides to every story and actually, we are all on the same side. 

We all want what’s best for our babies.  

Having recently spoken to a friend of mine who breast fed she exposed me to some very surprising nuggets of information. She expressed (see what I did there?) that although she absolutely loved breastfeeding and wouldn’t change it for the world, she had sometimes wished she had gone down the formula route, so her other half could help at 3am, when she was dying on her arse, so that she could eat a bit of cheese pie, and so that she could feel once again that her body belonged to her.

Then, rather shockingly, as if to make some sort of point, she showed me her breasts.

Look, see! Look how droopy!’ (We are quite close.)
And she was right, they were quite droopy. But, erm, then what’s my excuse? Because mine are waaaay droopier…  

But still, I didn’t tell her that. She had shown them to me as proof. Proof of what? I erm, I don’t know… But either way, she was clearly proud of her achievement, and I was proud of her too. (Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my jealousy and guilt began to ebb away.)

I was proud of her because she is a great mother. (Irregardless of how she feeds her son.)

So under order of Queen Bitch (that’s me by the way, but only today. Tommorrow I am just Queen of the world again. Got it?) From here on in, all conversations between formula mums and breast mums, must start like this;

Look Mary, I commend you on your breast feeding.
Look Rachel, well done for the choices you made, you are a great mum.
Look Mary, ultimate respect as it’s clearly so painful!
Look Rachel, I am proud of myself but I do wish it could be easier.
Look Mary, I’m a little jealous of how serene you look while feeding.
Look Rachel, I wish I could tell exactly how much my baby is getting.
Look Mary, you are doing your best you are a great mum.
Look Rachel, Right back at you.
Look Mary,
now show me your breasts.

Ok, take that last one out.

But wouldn’t that make more sense than some of the constant judgment that flies around?

Ultimately we are all on the same side right? We are all sleep deprived. We are all knackered. We are all trying our best and we are all, in some ways, new to this mothering Lark. Would it not be easier then, to drop the charade and just help each other out?

Here, take my nipple, I don’t need it.

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29 Comments on “Stone the witch!!

  1. Pingback: Breast feeding vs bottle feedingMummys the Word

  2. The guilt a mother feels about everything mother related is tremeadous. Add breastfeeding on top and it’s a load to bear! I tried everything to breastfeed my daughter. Weeks of health nurses assistance, pumping, praying, begging. But her palate wad to narrow and she couldn’t latch. I know how you feel. You’re wonderful for speaking about the conflicting opinions and the way women attack one another. We’re all mothers and we should all be supporting each other!

  3. My most favorite line in relation to any parenting issue is

    PARENTING IS NOT A COMPETITION

    And this is how I feel about this issue, I have read, joined in, and got very angry at many sides of this debate. In FF mothers their (my) back get up as they feel BF mothers are having a go, BF mothers get annoyed as us FFing Mums as we are trying to say it is ok TO FF as it is the ‘same’ as BFing. There are so many emotions in it all.

    If the worst thing I did for my now 3yo is give him formula, my goodness I am delighted. But sure the radio told me last week he is going to be a thicko as I fed him Mcdonalds as a toddler. I BROKE HIM 😉

  4. I know it’s probably really uncool to reply to a post with a link to my own post, but I did a guest oiece a while back, for This is Mommyood, talking about my own experiences with breatfeeding (or lack of) here: http://thisismommyhood.com/2010/12/06/guest-blogger-jayne-from-mums-the-word-to-breastfeed-or-not-to-breastfeed-that-is-the-question-2/

    I’ve only ever talked about it on someone else’s blog, someone who happens to live on the other side of the world, so I truly commend your bravery in writing about all of this. Needless to say, you aren’t alone, or being judged, by me, at least. x

  5. Lexy this is another brilliant post from you. I totally agree with you about the lack of open support for PND sufferers and love the slogan but think “Is your baby crying? Are you? It’s perfectly normal so get yourself a Starbucks now and don’t worry, you’ll both be laughing again in an hour” would be more appropriate! Ha ha. Mum’s definitely need to be more supportive of each other. Ultimately our choices of breastfeeding vs formula feeding are made with our babies best interests at heart. That’s if we even have a choice. I believe that there should be support for Mum’s who want to breastfeed. But I also believe there should be support for Mum’s that don’t want to or can’t. What’s best for Mum is best for baby. xx

  6. Just found your blog and think its great! then got to this post, and OMG you are so right, my baby is 4 months and I breastfeed, (i’m lucky cause I have masses of milk or am I – I may have tons of milk but my bed is always drenched – the pads so do not work! By breasts are sore ALWAYS, My partner doesn’t help at night – oh and my baby wakes about hourly at the mo for feeding – its killing me! 🙂
    We all do the best we can and we struggle along somehow – by the sound of your blog u r a great mum! 🙂
    Chin up everyone! 🙂

  7. Ah love you too, its so hard making these decisions with the weight of the Nanny state on our shoulders. But you DID make a decision and in your own interests and that of your baby. One of the first and one of the most guilt weighted decisions a women will ever do in her life.
    You are right it weighs on you, but please have faith in the decision you made at the time, with the best of intention, for the health and well being of you and your baby.
    That is what we all do, lovely, and I for one, would never judge.
    I have trained as a breast feeding peer supporter this year and so far have helped over 12 women who have had bugger all support from our NHS , they are all terrified of making the leap to bottle but are stuck in a world of nipple pain, lochia and a permanently crying, hungry baby. I help sort the wood from the trees so they can make an informed decision as to how they move forward.
    You’ve done that, with very little support, from the sounds of it.
    From a reader who breast feeds but doesn’t do judging. 😉 xxx

  8. I totally agree. Moms should support moms. We all have such a big job to do, why build a fence to throw stones over? That’s just bogus.

    I’ve both breast (and pumped) and formula fed my sons, and they’re all peachy.

    It doesn’t bother me to see breastfeeding moms supporting each other or even promoting it, but it does raise my blood pressure to see one mom questioning another’s choices. That just chaps my ass.

    You’re absolutely right. That behavior is totally witch hunt, kill the beast, dog dookie. There’s a difference between raising awareness and shoving your beliefs in someone’s face like a stripper on amateur night.

    We all have a common goal. Happy, healthy children. Why some moms insist on making it harder for others , I just will never understand.

    Great post, sweetcheeks! Keep it up!

  9. Hi Misslexywoo – I don’t think I have commented on your posts before, and I missed the Twitter drama, what with Christmas and everyone in our house getting flu and all. I hear all of the arguments for and against formula and breastfeeding. Having such grown up children I have actually heard them all several times…. However, one thing that nobody seems to like to talk about when you have a baby is what an oh so very competitive market you enter once you have given birth. It is soooo easy to get your back put up, or to put up someone else’s back once differing opinions about child rearing begin to get aired. In fact, this happens once differing opinions about ANYTHING to do with our children are aired. You wait until your boy starts school ……

    The point I am trying to make is that in most cases, EVERYTHING we do for our children, we do because we are trying to do our best for our child, given their needs, and also our own particular needs and circumstances. And do you know what? provided at the root of every decision is the desire to do your best for your child, then you are pretty much on target and doing the right thing, whether it is the same decision someone else would have made or not.

    And that is what we all have to hang on to.

    Ellen P

  10. First of all great post. I’m a firm believer that we are not here to judge and we all want what is best for our babies. No one should feel pressured into breast feeing their baby if they don’t want to. And, if it just didn’t work out, they shouldn’t be judged negatively about that either.

    However, I was a breast feeding Mom and nursed my daughter for 1 year. The thing I found irritating and quite rude, was the constant flow of formula samples that came in my mailbox.

    This was a very assuming gesture, and the samples always came around the time that 1. a Mom would be learning to get the hang of breast feeding, or 2. around the time that many Moms decide to quit. To me this conveyed a complete lack of support and encouragement for breast feeding Moms.

    As if the formula companies were saying. Here you go, we know it’s hard, it’s okay to give up. Just take this formula and everything will be okay.

  11. Thank you for writing this. It would be so nice to just get the support every new mom needs instead of having this tremendous pressure put on you when there’s already so much stress with having a baby to begin with.

    I’ve written about this on my site and how I pumped and pumped and pumped for nearly 4 months but couldn’t breastfeed. It didn’t help that my little girl was in the NICU for 3 weeks and she never latched on. I know I did the best I could but I still have guilt about it. Especially when there are some out there who say there’s absolutely no good reason not be able to breastfeed.

    Everyone has different circumstances and these same people don’t seem to see it. *sigh*

  12. I’m struggling to comment on this post. As someone who has found breastfeeding very easy, natural and a lot more fun than sterilising and organising bottles, I’m not sure how my comments will be interpreted. I breastfeed and I’m proud of it. I talk about breastfeeding because I want women to know that it’s a valid choice, that it’s normal and that it is possible to do it successfully, with the right knowledge and support. I wouldn’t want to make anyone feel bad or guilty about their decision to formula feed, but if they happen to feel guilty when they see me feeding my baby, there’s not much I can do about that.

    What I think is all wrong about breastfeeding and formula feeding in this country is that the majority of women start out wanting to breastfeed, but by six weeks most of them have stopped. I’d never criticise an individual for choosing to stop, but I think a lot of women are being let down by a system that should be offering accurate information and plentiful support. I think sometimes these things can get mixed up – I’d like more women to be able to breastfeed, but I don’t think that they should if they don’t want to.

    This is a bit of a side issue, but I think it’s worth mentioning as it does tie in a little. You say “If formula wasn’t healthy, they wouldn’t sell it would they?”. Yes, it’s true that formula is a healthy choice, here in the UK where we have access to fresh, clean water. However, some formula companies aggressively market their products overseas in countries where clean water isn’t available, and thousands of babies die because of it (eg Nestle). So in a way I’d describe myself as anti-formula, as would a lot of other breastfeeders. I also feel that formula advertising is often unethical – for example, follow-on milk (for babies over six months) didn’t exist until it became illegal to advertise milk for babies under six months. A lot of breastfeeders think these things are really wrong, and argue passionately against them as they want women to have a real choice between breast and formula. But sometimes they get so impassioned and angry with formula companies that it can seem like they’re angry with mothers who use formula. I’ve seen people with pro-bf blogs describe formula in horrible terms that can only alienate the people they’re trying to help.

    I’m not suggesting that this is what was going on with your “friend” – I think probably she’s one of those who is very insecure about all her choices, so jumps on ways to put others down to make herself feel better. But I do think it’s something that muddles the bf/ff debate online, so I wanted to mention it.

    Not sure I’ve answered the question! Was there one? Yes, we are all on the same side.

  13. Pingback: Jumping on the bandwagon: breast is best? « Northern Mummy with Southern Children

  14. The pressure to breastfeed is ridiculously immense! I have another side of the story to tell. I needed the ‘ is your baby smiling’ slogan because I was too busy making sure I didnt fail in the breast-feeding stakes, after dramatically failing her by not even being able to give birth properly, that I lost sight of making sure my baby was happy! I persevered despite her not gaining any weight and despite the fact she cried constantly (due to hunger) because I didn’t want to fail her. How was that the right decision! Consequently, I now feel guilty for not ‘giving up’ ( I hate that phrase) sooner! When I did, both me and my baby were much much happier!
    Ooo, and I’ll admit to one more thing- one of my biggest motivating factors for breastfeeding was the prevention of cancer one (selfish I know) and I’d love to know just how much of a difference that makes??

  15. You are not alone. With my first baby I was determined to breastfeed. I did not buy a bottle or formula. After a week, all I had was bleeding nipples and a starving baby. I tried every position, nipple shields, everything. I was at the end of my tether. I gave in and put him on the bottle. Immediately, my Son was full and happy and my nipples healed! I never looked back. With my second Son I put him straight on the bottle. They are now 14 and 11 and in rude health. There is such pressure to breastfeed and, if you succeed, brilliant. If you decide to bottle feed, do not feel guilty. Breastfeeding is not for everyone…..formula is not poison!

  16. Babies need love and food and love and warmth and love…. how they get that is up to you frankly, oh and did I mention love? My health visitor said to me a happy mummy has a happy baby (did she realise how hard it is to keep me happy? LOL!) but it is true and in my area they seem to have grasped that and although they tell you the spiel about breast is best and all that jazz they don’t pressure or make you feel guilty for not doing ‘the right thing’.
    Learning how to be a Mum is bloody hard, you do your best, that is all anyone can ask!

  17. Great post and I really wish I had read your smiling baby slogan when I was post-partum. I suppose when people write affirmations on breastfeeding, it’s the same as the people who post status updates or tweet about how many miles they ran that morning, or how long they spent at the gym. Because I am a couch potato whose idea of exercise is walking to the local to pick up some wine gums, the exercise nuts really get on my nerves, but I know deep down they aren’t bragging just to bring us lazies down… (I think?). They just want a little brag and a pat on the back for accomplishing something difficult. The same goes for breastfeeders. It is annoying, though (and I breastfed). And even when you breastfeed, it is never enough. Some will think you “gave up” because you only did 6 months. If you did a year, the real breastfeeding gurus will brag about their 2 year old who still asks for it. It’s all very silly. And just wait until they start asking what schools you’re on the list for…
    After a while, I’ve just stopped caring and am proud of the mother I am. We all will make good and bad decisions, but breastfeeding or formula feeding really isn’t the end all. A healthy, thriving, happy baby is all that matters and I think everyone who formula OR breastfeeds knows that deep down. WE are all mothers.
    On another note, I wish people would generally stop bragging on public forums, whether about breastfeeding, exercising, or finishing their taxes… don’t they know no one cares and just finds it annoying?!

  18. I’m in the process of writing a post around the same issues but I wanted to comment. I’m a breastfeeding mum twice over and I’m a bf counsellor for the la leche league. Bf is one of the hardest things in the world to master, it is painful, it is frustrating, it is draining and by no means did I lose any weight from it with my daughter (have complained to the body about that one). I don’t think I’m more special or superior than my ff mummy friends. Just like I don’t think that mums who return to work are abandoning their children (I’m a SAHM) I just think that we’re all making the decision to do what is best for our children and our families. Why does it have to be so bitchy? Answer because we’re women! All that us important is that our children are healthy, happy and loved – how we get there us irrelevant.

    On a separate note however I have been made to feel guilty for bf by a few ff mums because I could and they couldn’t. Each time I fed in front of them they said they felt I was trying to rub their nose in it. Actually I was just tending to my hungry baby!

    AND I hate the constant “oh you’re breastfeeding – well done you” it feels sooo patronising!

    Great post x

  19. I think the message should be “do what is best for YOU & YOUR baby” we are all different!!! We should just do our best to raise happy healthy kids & support each other in doing so. Feeding is such a contious issue, each Mum should be able to do what they want without feeling judged.
    Use the energy consumed in judging feeding methods more constructively – judge parents that neglect children or harm children.
    We should be Mum’s United!!!

  20. Ahhh! I just typed up a really long reply and my phone died! I shall try again.

    Are you having a pop at me Lexy? Are you trying to make me feel even more inferior on the back of my blogpost? See? See how much of a failure I feel? I have such issues. You are right, the propoganda is horrendous. I always feel that bf mummies are condemning us ff mummies. Maybe they are affirming their successes, but I don’t understand why.

    I tried, he wouldn’t suckle once latched on. Lazy toad. The story is on my blog, I’m not going into it here, however because my son went onto formula he slept through the night from 6 weeks old! Ha!

    I am extremely irritated by the reports that bf boys are brighter than ff ones. I’ll make him a dunces hat now then shall I? Nowt to do with parental involvement then?

    God I’ve got issues.

    • Are you joking about me having a pop at you? i hope so, i would never ever ever have a pop at you for the following reasons;
      A) you are an amazing mother
      B) i dont think you need to be guilty and have told you this before
      C) I love you and
      D) i have that many issues who am i to have a pop at anyone?
      and E) your story (everyone should go and read it.) made me cry because of all of the above.

      Now. Tell me who i can slap.
      ;o)
      x

  21. You know what? You do deserve a pat on the back. We talked about this a bit on Twitter a while back, and you are absolutely right about how we, as women, need to build each other up instead of tearing each other down. So, I breastfed. And I hated every minute of it–especially the first time around. It was painful, uncomfortable, and I, like Greta Garbo, wanted to be left alone because I was so tired of not owning my own body.

    And I felt guilty. The La Leche League video made it look like breastfeeding was easy (it’s not), natural (sure as hell didn’t feel that way), and fun (biggest lie ever). I’m a grown woman, for goodness sake! Tell me the truth about such things. Tell me that scientific evidence supports that breast milk is better; also tell me that it’s going to be a colossal pain in the ass!

    And–here’s the kicker–tell me that it’s possible that I won’t be able to breastfeed. So I was able to breastfeed–I was lucky. A good friend of mine who had her heart set on nursing even while I sat the fence couldn’t breastfeed. And then she felt guilty, betrayed by her body. And that’s not cool. Having a baby wears you out and screws with your hormones–the last thing you need to feel is guilt.

    And that guilt sometimes doesn’t go away. My own mother felt guilty about feeding me formula when I chose to breastfeed. It took months to work that one out because she had the feelings but didn’t want to do anything to condemn me, but couldn’t help but feel that way. Finally, we hashed it out. I told her that under no circumstances did I think she had done a poor job of parenting. She still felt the need to come up with the yellowed booklet from 1975 that told her that formula was better. Then i countered with the whole back to sleep campaign and asked if she felt guilty about putting me on my stomach? It’s so crazy the things we do to each others as mothers when we all want nothing more than healthy, happy children.

    So, I concur, we should support each other, pat each other on the back, and work hard to make our babies smile. That’s all that matters. And if 26 people dropped you for expressing (word still skeeves me out) an opinion, then that’s their problem, not yours.

    • Thanks hon. You are so right.
      Its mad how it has also come down the generations!
      thank you so much for your comment and for taking the time to read.
      And you are SO right about bieng provided with ALL the info, warts and all!

  22. I never ever considered formula a viable method for feeding a baby, for me. I don’t think I ever really thought about other people and their decisions that much, but I was going to breast feed come hell or high water.

    Yeah. Right. My baby was born at 27 weeks. But damn it, I would breastfeed that baby. I expressed. I expressed with tears pouring down my cheeks. I expressed at 3 in the morning rocking in my chair because I wanted my baby with me, not a stupid pump. I expressed at the hospital, damn it I hand expressed in the toilets at the bus station when I got stuck with no bus to get me home.

    At six weeks old we started to try and get him to latch. It was hopeless. I have breasts like Dolly Parton pre surgery and my baby, at six weeks old, was barely 3lb. He was not going to be able to latch.

    Then came the devastating news. My baby was “failure to thrive” being IUGR he needed more than breast milk, first fortifier, sachets of powder they put in your milk, then full on formula, special stuff. Like treacle.

    I was completely devastated.

    I think we all need to get a grip. Its not poison. You do what is best for you, for your baby, and to hell with anyone else.

    Formula really is not poison, its specially formulated to meet the needs of babies when breast milk is not available, or best.

    • You have one of the most heart wrenching stories to tell, and i can not tell you how much respect i have for you, i really cant.
      You are a great mum, a fantastic person and we need to meet soon for a cuppa!
      Thank you for reading and thank you for being honest.
      It is never easy, which ever desision you make, and when it is taken out of your hands like that? I can not imagine how it feels.
      The guilt, the frustration, the disappoinment.
      I love you and your blog and i admire your strenght to get through the last few years.
      Did i ever tell you that?
      well now you know! xx

  23. AMEN to positive parenting propoganda: “Is your baby smiling? Then give yourself a pat on the back!” is the best slogan ever. 🙂

    I’m a breastfeeder, but I am utterly thankful for the existence of formula – breastfeeding can be difficult, impossible sometimes, draining, exhausting and uncomfortable – sometimes – through nobody’s fault – it Just Doesn’t Work. What would we do it there wasn’t formula?

    As if we don’t already have enough to worry/feel guilty about – being a mum seems to be a neverending judgemental conveyorbelt of doing things wrong, no matter what you do. Breastfeeding mums get thrown off buses and slated for feeding in public (because obviously we’re swinging our tits around in everyone’s faces), formula feeding mums get told they’re second best. Let’s all shut the hell up and have a massive group hug eh? We’re doing alright.

    • You see, i had no idea really , the stuff breast feeding mums really go through in regards to the public opinion.
      This is why honesty should be crucial. You are not indecent, it is the most natural thing in the world. And we are not second rate.
      you hit the nail on the head.
      thank you for reading.
      GROUPPPPPPPPPP HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG
      lol x

  24. I breast fed B for 9 months by which time he had weaned himself off me anyway. I wanted to breast feed. But it was VERY HARD and had I not had support of a couple of close ladies I may have stopped a lot sooner.
    I think as a mum you are free to make your own choices and decide what is best for you and baby – not other people. Whether it’s breast milk or formula milk, as long as bab is cared for and loved and looked after that is what is important.
    You are a great mummy and don’t ever think otherwise xx.

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